i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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