If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize