chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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