For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
