Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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