you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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