So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
