Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
