problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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