Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
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