Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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