i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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