So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
