How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize