why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
