she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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