Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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