thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
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what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
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Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt