One girl and one boy is just not enough.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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