small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
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