I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
