woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize
