Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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