i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
