Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
