Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
You need Xanax blowdarts
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize