his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
