chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
