walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
