yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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