come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
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Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
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Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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