i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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