I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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