My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
she peed on how many people?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
