I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She needs sedatives and a leash
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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