i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
