She said her name was "party"
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize