South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
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I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
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I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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