So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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