I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
