I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
