garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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