Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
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