shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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