Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
