I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize