I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
