i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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