We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
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I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
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I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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