Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
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Found your dick twin last night
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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