btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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