I feel great
I just peed on a car
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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