i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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