it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
so let's talk penis.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
