Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(218): View more from Minnesota

Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

and i looked up. we had an audience...

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(307): View more from Wyoming

Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.

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(515): View more from Iowa

nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying

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(770): View more from Georgia

Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars

(770): View more from Georgia

wait nvm its a dude

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor

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(619): View more from California

You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.

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(408): View more from California

I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...

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(310): View more from California

Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday

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