Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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