Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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