Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize