I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
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he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
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I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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